Relationships

Relationships is a very wide topic, I just want to share with you what I think about it, knowing that when I finish there will still be more to be said. It is a topic that arouses the curiosity of young people because they have a particular/ restricted idea about it. We will see that Friendship and relationship between boys and girls is very wide and rich.

To relate with somebody is a very basic human need. Since we are all human, young and old alike we find ourselves making friends with whom we can relate and share joys, problems, interests. We are social beings and as such we need others to socialize and it has been like this since the beginning of human race. In fact we read in Genesis, “God said: it is not good that man should be alone. I will make a helpmate for him” (Gen.2:18) so it is very normal for a young man or a young woman to desire to have and keep friends. But now I would like to ask you a question: Do you know who a friend is?

A friend is:

A person familiar to you.

A person who understands and cares for you.

A person whom you like.

A person who helps you and is available in moments of need.

A person whom you feel at ease with, you feel happy, free with.

A person with whom you wish to stay, to talk, to share, and to do many things together.

You will recognize a friend in moments of need because, a friend is expected to show trust, loyalty, generosity, and concern for the other. When a person is ready to help you in spite of losing time or losing goods or may be precious opportunities in order to assist you or to be near you and to help you without taking any advantage for her/himself, that is a real friend.

This kind of friendship gives to the person a lot of moral support and a sense of belonging which each human being needs very much. When we hear or read something about relationship and friendship between boys and girls, we become curious and we want to know more and more. It is a topic of special interests to young people like you.

Many young people ask: How can I make the right choice of a boy or girl friend since they are so many at my disposal? To get the right friend, boy/girl, you have to be the right friend. It is important to cultivate the qualities of a good character within yourself before you look out for these qualities in another person. So it is necessary and important:

• To know yourselves, your weaknesses and strengths and then to work on those weaknesses and to strengthen your good points.
• Keep always in mind the best way to have a friend is to be one, because there are ‘friends’ who lead others to ruin.

Also very important is to remember that friendship is something that you build together gradually as you grow in the knowledge of one another. To go too fast, sometimes might cause a wrong choice; you need to know and to learn how to live a life of friendship with the friends of the opposite sex.

Friendship between boys and girls is not something that you can buy at the market, but something that you build up little starting with very small things, gentleness, friendly gestures, effort to understand others and sharing together. Jesus called his disciples friends and he shows us what friendship means when he says: “A man can have no greater love than to lay down his life for his friends” (Jn 15:13)

So, friendship in Jesus’ mind and teaching means acting for the good of the friend. We too can be his friends if we do what he commands us (Jn 15:14) this is the ideal type of friendship and relationship that we have to aim at. Unfortunately we know that often, instead of looking to build up a good relationship and friendship, boys and girls think too much about sex. Friendship and relationship means for them that boys can have girls and girls can have boys to enjoy themselves.

And they could also say:

I am young and I must take advantage of this. If I feel like to have a girl, why should I deprive myself of such a pleasure if she is willing? But are we made only for this kind of pleasure? A healthy relationship is not made of self-gratification because in this way we will never be happy and satisfied. As christian youths let us make our friendships with the opposite sex holy and keep our bodies pure for God’s dwelling.

Sr Catherine Wanza, Fsp

My experience with the Daughters of St.Paul, Nairobi

Ever been in a situation where you get inside a house looking for something but can’t really figure out what it is? The feeling is just weird. You try to move your eyes all over and let your hands land on so many objects, before you finally set your eyes on the particular one you were looking for, and then you take a deep breath as your whole body experiences a momentary peace.

This feeling of “thirst”, a thirst that can only be quenched by finding or coming in contact with what you’re looking for is not new. St. Augustine felt the thirst and he went on looking for something to quench it. Finally, he was quenched when he found God and as a result he wrote, “God you have made us for yourself and our heart is restless until it rests in you.”

Too much analogies, right? Let me spare you that. When I stepped my feet in the compound of the Daughters’ of St .Paul, I felt fulfilled. It all began at the bookshop at the Holy Family minor basilica in the Archdiocese of Nairobi. There I met one beautiful Sister called Sr Eunice. I wondered, “This beautiful woman could have been someone’s wife and mother too, but now she’s a sister! Anyway, Jesus really deserves nothing but the best.”

Back to the convent, Immediately I got into their gate I felt like, wow! this is the place I have been looking for, this is the place that left my heart thirsting and vacant for a long time. How do I describe this feeling? I bet the same way a baby feels when sleeping on its mother’s lap.

This was just the beginning. Later that same evening I met my fellow aspirants: five young ladies whose names I recall vividly; Mary, Mildred, Ann, Mercy and Linet. They all looked cool, composed and ready for the retreat. However, each of them had an interesting trait that made  them unique from the rest. Mary and Mildred would laugh literally at everything, I mean everything. Ann and Mercy on the other hand, were the silent type, laughing and talking only when there was need. Then I, the talkative one, just ready to give my input on whatever discussion that came up. sometimes I feel bad about this part of me! Anyway the story about each aspirant’s character is for another day…let me say something about the sisters.

It will be unfair if I don’t say anything about two friendly sisters who spent a better part of the retreat with us. Sr Catherine Wanza and Sr.Noel Lucy are probably the humblest people I have met in my life. I found the latter more interesting. I loved her vibes, there was something in her I found attractive, I don’t as yet know what it exactly was, but I bet it her simplicity and outgoing nature, humorously narrating her experiences as a missionary adds to it. Basically, each person had something unique that I admired, the smiles, the accents, the simplicity and so on. Honestly, I loved this place and its people or is it what they call, “love at first sight?”

One look at the drafted program and I knew my stay was going to be more relaxed than I expected. It was not long before I left class work and two sessions a day was nothing to complain about. These were the best classes I have ever had, you know, taking a five- minutes break to listen to some music or maybe do some dancing! I love fun moments, I could be a comedian, who knows .

The most interesting part of the day was in during the morning prayers just before the Mass. the aura in the chapel was heavenly, especially with the chanting of the psalms. The sisters looked so gorgeous together in their white veils and the blue habits. The environment was peaceful. I was lucky to sit next to one sister with such an angellic voice! I was lost in this beautiful atmosphere and the reality of having to leave after four days hit so badly. Anyway, I could not let that fact kill the joy of what was unfolding in me.

Time literally flew and we came to the last day of the retreat. The climax was remarkable, I remember vividly the walk in the publishing department. Oh! I loved this place a big deal. As we moved from one section of the department to the next, I could not help but imagine myself in one of the them. May the grace of God be upon my desire.

The next tour was at the studio. I remember telling my colleagues how we will do a radio drama if we make it together for the come and see program.

That last night as we cut the cake with the sisters, the fact of leaving dawned on me. I remember feeling quite emotional. just looking at the sisters young and old, sitting together, laughing and happy having given their all to Jesus. I so deeply wished time would pass fast and I’ll be one of them. Some of them were ageing and this rang an alarm of Jesus’ words in my heart, “the harvest is plentiful but the labourers are few.”

It was time to say something about how we got to know about the Daughters of St Paul. All my colleagues had interesting stories. I felt mine was just ordinary because a friend had told me about the sisters and I got attracted because their charism of ministering through media matched my degree programme at the university. All along I wanted to be a religious but I had not decided which congregation I wanted to join. At that moment though, I felt like it was not a mere coincidence, it was completely the plan of God to land here. Something or do I say some voice inside me whispered, “Teresia this is where you belong.”

Alas! It was barely a week and yet, I felt a great sense of belonging but as the saying goes all that has a beginning has an end, this was the end of my retreat, all enjoyable and fruitful all glory to Jesus the Master, Way, Truth and Life.

Teresia Muia Sivu, Aspirant.

I have contacts

“A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says, “Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses.” The woman answered, “see here, officer; I have contacts!” The policeman replied, “I don’t care who you know! You are fined!” unknown

Sr Doris Wanyonyi, Fsp

Giving lovingly

“It is not how much we do that matters, but how much love we put in the doing. It is not how much we give that matters, but how much love we put in the giving.” Mother Teresa

Sr Doris Wanyonyi, fsp

Sr Catherine Ocharo, Fsp

It takes the grace of God and a continuous response to His call

My vocation is a gift from God.  It’s so unique and different from another person’s vocation. Why so?  Simply because my response to God’s call is unique from Sr. A’s response to her call. Therefore, it doesn’t matter how long it takes one to say a yes to following of Christ’s call in the consecrated life, but rather the daily response to this call or Yes.

My experience so far is a continuous collaboration with the Lord through prayers. I ask Him questions on how he wants to lead me and this calls for my readiness to listen to Him. My family too has always supported me with prayers and by allowing me to respond to the call of Christ.

As I continue to grow I realize that it takes an individual effort to remain focused in one’s call. It’s a moment of self- evaluation, time to be in touch with my creator through pondering of His Word of Life.

Therefore, I encourage everyone who feels called to allow the Lord do His work and our part is to collaborate with the graces that He has put before us.

Sr Hellen Joseph Ndiang’ui, Fsp

The word missionary commonly refers to a religious person sent to a foreign nation to evangelize the gospel to the peoples as per the mission of his or her congregation. However, it would also apply to a religious person evangelizing in his or her own country. As a Daughter of St Paul, one can either be sent to bring the good news to the people in another nation or to evangelize in her home country. My missionary experience is characterized by evangelizing both within and out of my home country Kenya.

In 2006, I went to Tanzania for apostolic and community experience as a novice for three months. I was inserted in the Catholic bookshop where I carried out the apostolate. It was exciting attending to people of all walks of life including bishops, clergy, religious men and women as well as lay faithful. Time to time, I would also air radio programs on faith. Kiswahili being the official language of the country, I had to polish my Kenyan Swahili and adapt to the one of Tanzania in my communication. In 2007, after my first profession, I was sent to evangelize in Lagos, Nigeria. My main apostolate was in the bookshop and diffusion. We visited seminaries, parishes, attended conferences and any other event that would need our presence. It was always interesting to go and meet people who really appreciated our mission. I could understand well the zeal of Jesus and St Paul moving from place to place in order to draw more people closer to God.

I returned to Kenya in 2010 for studies and mission. For the past twelve years, I have been involved in vocation work and animation to the young people, forming our young sisters, video production, and, carrying out diffusion in seminaries, parishes, schools and conferences. It is always my joy to see many people thirsting for the Word of God and being enriched by our materials. I am now based in the Archdiocese of Kisumu. My main apostolate is to promote and market our publications and productions. There are many opportunities here and the neighbouring dioceses for our mission. At times I am overwhelmed where to start or end. But the Lord who has given us this mission always guides us on how to go about it. I am a happy Daughter of St Paul and I am contented in carrying out the mission in my home country.

Sr Maria Theresia Swai, Fsp.

My name is Sr Theresia. I belong to the congregation of the Daughters of St Paul. I am the first-born girl of seven children but as for now we have remained five. Two of my brothers have passed on. I was brought up in a christian family. My parents raised us up as God-fearing people. They taught us to respect each person we meet big or small. This was the moment I realised that the way you are brought up is the way you behave even in front of other people. I felt that God was calling me in to religions life at the age of twelve, when I witnessed a sister coming to our school to teach us catechism. I was very impressed with her way of teaching using pictures so that the  students could understand better. I remember so well the story of Moses, the prodigal son and Herod promising the gift to his daughter when she danced so well and made an impression on the visitors.

These three stories made me to think about converting these people by committing myself to do something. When I completed primary seven I went to ask my parish priest Fr Alexandy  Ndesario (My he rest in peace) how one could become a sister? I was so small and tinny, he looked at me and laughed. “My daughter you are still young go and complete your studies, then think about religious life later.” He said, while smiling and looking at me tenderly.  As if he was telling me my daughter you don’t know what you are asking for. I left the office and went home sad, discouraged and down cast but within me I had some little hope that one day I would become a sister in a congregation of which I had no idea. The years passed by and I joined the Daughters of St Paul October 1993.

Receiving blessings from my parents before leaving home was the best gift they could offer to me. I remember their words,  “My daughter we wish you all the best but if you find difficulties in your journey and you desire to come back home you are always welcome.” For sure these words from my parents in that moment of separation had a lot of impact in my life. It was my first time to leave my country and travel to a neighbouring country Kenya these words kept me going and always ringing in my mind. whenever I faced challenges in my journey I thought  of my parents’ words, “the door is still open come back home” what next? the mission I came to is not yet accomplished and so I move ahead.

I went through the stages of formation pre-postulacy, postulancy and novitiate which ended with profession. I did my first profession on 26^th October 1997 and I was sent to the community of Zambia where I stayed for two years I learned a bit of chechewa language, here I joined the sisters in the mission such as working in the book centre, radio programs, vocation promotion and visiting parishes colleges and schools, doing all these different activities I felt the missionary sprit growing in me. As the years passed by I made my final profession 15^th Feb 2003 at St Peter Parish in Dar Es Salaam. After this great celebration I remained in Tanzania for at list two years then I was called to come to Kenya to work as a vocation promoter and at the same time as member of the council and secretary of the Delegation.

This assignment was too big for me but with the help of God and my sisters I was able to accomplish it all. From here I was asked to go to Uganda where I worked for seven years attending to the bookshop and as the superior of the community collaborating with my sisters in all areas of our mission, I was happy and fulfilled. I loved and enjoyed to work with the people of Uganda. When I let Uganda after seven years I went shortly in Italy one-year charism course. At the end of the course I got an appointment later asking me to go to Tanzania my country of origin. In June 2019 I landed in Dar-Es Salaam and before I know it, this is the place where I made the preparation for  25^th anniversary of my religious life. It was something worth to celebrate. This mark the years of services in God’s vineyard.

The years of faithfulness indeed.  It only dawned to me that I was to celebrate my Silver Jubilee the following year 2022, when we celebrated the feast of Jesus Master October 2021. This gave me joy to inaugurate it officially, this upcoming event which took place in Nairobi Kenya on 28^th October 2022. Moreover, I had also celebrated on 28^th of June 2022 in Dar Es Salaam at St Peters’ Parish Oyestar bay and on 1^st October 2022 at my home parish in Kejenge-Arusha. Joined by my sisters, members of my family, lay collaborators/ cooperators and friends. The preparation of my Jubilee was proceeded with the visit to holy land. I appreciated a lot about this trip and believed that this was the best gift received and better than all the material gifts that I ever received. Actually this remain a remarkable event for me.

I had enough time to ponder and reflect the treasures of 25 years of service in the vineyard of the Lord through my Pauline vocation. I noticed that the years are just numbers what matters is what I have become for all these years, and what mark that have left. This is what counts. Nevertheless, the Lord has enabled me to accomplish many things. He has blessed me with good healthy which I don’t take for granted, one will know the important of good and stable heathy when it is put into the trial. Each moment of my passing days I counted on God’s blessing. Life was filled with thick and thin bushes, but he was so faithful to me and the difficulties encountered during my journey gave me the reasons to continue focusing on my call to religious life. On my part I put my trust in him and do well what is expected of me. To celebrate 25 years of service is to open a new chapter on my journey.  I continue to ask you to pray for me as I contemplate another 25 years ahead. God bless you all. I wish all the best to girls who would like to collaborate with us please come and do not delay there still a lot to do with the apostolate of the media of communication.